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Being single does not mean your life is on hold

The ache to be married is no joke, and it is often felt most poignantly during seasons of singleness. Often, people view the time when they are single as a time of limbo where your vocational discernment is on hold unless you want to discern celibacy. We disagree! Your time as a single person is actually a tremendous gift that our Lord can use to ravish your heart and prepare you to enter into your vocation. Even though it can be a season of much pain and longing, we encourage you to take full advantage of your singlehood. Below are some things that you can begin doing now to prepare for your vocation and to help you live out your baptismal call to love.

...but what do you do with your ache for communion?

The longing that you have for a spouse is a good thing - it’s a reminder that all of your desires will be fulfilled in Heaven! You were created by an infinite God to be seen and known and loved for all of eternity, and the intimacy found in marriage allows you to experience a taste of the fulfillment you’ll experience in Heaven. Yes, you have a longing to have earthly communion with a spouse, but your spouse will never be able to truly satisfy that ache; the infinite longing will never be completely satisfied by a finite person.


When you feel a longing for marriage, remind yourself that you are ultimately longing for Jesus Christ. Remind yourself of this again and again and again. Marriage can easily become an idol, something that you think will bring you ultimate happiness in and of itself. Training yourself now to remember the true fulfillment of your longing will help you to keep marriage in its proper context and will free your heart to be open to the Love that can truly satisfy you.


Allow this longing to be your prayer. Don’t run from the ache, don’t stuff it down or try to numb it - instead, sit in it. The Saints are the ones who have the courage to feel the abyss of longing in their souls and in their bodies. Take courage! Open your longing to Jesus and know that He sees you and will satisfy all of your desires.

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